


You Can Tell Me All About It

by wyvernwood



Category: To the Moon Series (Video Games)
Genre: Dubious Consent, F/M, First Times, Orgasm Denial, Pegging, Unreliable Narrator, What Is Reality Anyway?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:08:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27732802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wyvernwood/pseuds/wyvernwood
Summary: Colin was never entirely sure if Faye existed or not. He knew he wrote the story of their relationship, but that didn't mean it wasn't real. Either way, she was his first love, though not his first lover; she never agreed to anything more than a kiss.Whose fault was that? And now that Faye was gone, and Colin was about to marry Sofia, was it too late for anything to happen between him and Faye?No, it definitely wasn't. But that might not be good for Colin at all...
Relationships: Colin Reeds/Faye
Comments: 3
Kudos: 3
Collections: Consent Issues Exchange 2020





	You Can Tell Me All About It

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ziskandra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ziskandra/gifts).



Colin threw himself onto his bed and stared up at the ceiling. He was alone. Sofia's eyes lingered in his memory, closing for no reason Colin could fathom. Sometimes Fia did things for no reason at all. Had she decided to give herself to him that night for a reason? He had no one to ask that question, or any like it.

The green book sat on the corner of Colin's nightstand. It was with him always. 

Faye had said goodbye, despite the protests Colin had scripted for himself to speak in their final scene together. On those pages he'd written her promise that she would still be out there, somewhere, looking out for him. If he brought her back, he'd have to say goodbye to her again, and Colin wasn't sure if he could. It had been hard enough the first time. 

His first time with Sofia: Colin needed to talk about it. He needed to tell Faye everything. Colin's palm pressed into the cover of the green book as the answer came to him. He couldn't talk to her, but like anyone far away who he couldn't just fly out to visit, Colin could write Faye a letter.

He took a loose piece of paper and smoothed it atop the cover of the green book, then began to write.

> Dear Faye,
> 
> You know, I told Fia we could wait till our wedding night. It's next month, that's not so long to wait. And she said that was all right, but then she said, it was also all right not to wait. That whatever choice we made would be right for us. I got the feeling she didn't want to wait at all.
> 
> And I wasn't sure I wanted to wait either, so, I didn't. 
> 
> I know you said you don't know about this stuff, that you can't help me with it, and I'm not asking you to help. But I need to talk to you about it, you're the only person I have who I can really talk to. Now that you're gone, though, I'm writing to you. Wherever you've flown away to, Faye, you'll get this letter, and read it, and think about me, and I'll imagine you reading it and your reactions, and then it will all feel real. It doesn't, quite, feel real now.
> 
> She unbuttoned the top button of her shirt and leaned forward, her hands not going immediately to the next button. It looked like she wanted me to do the rest, so I did. I was awkward and nearly broke one of the buttons off -- it didn't actually fall off, but it was hanging really loose when I finally got it out of the way -- but I managed. I'm so awkward. It's terribly embarrassing. And I've unbuttoned so many buttons, but they're backwards on girls' clothes, or something, it's different. I should practice more... it'd be boring, though, so I probably won't. Especially without you here pestering me to.
> 
> I think she realized from that how bad of an idea it'd be to let me try to take her bra off, so she did that herself. And Faye, I have to tell you, sliding my hand onto her breast was amazing, nothing has ever felt that good in my hand, not the stick of a plane, certainly not the bow of a cello, no expensive fur or silk, her breast was soft, warm, reacted to my touch, and as I slid my fingers along it her breath caught. So did mine. Her nipple hardened under my thumb, and it was hard to breathe steady. 
> 
> She didn't seem to have a plan. She seemed to want me to do something, but not anything specific, just, whatever occurred to me. I know the stuff they do in movies or books isn't what real girls want to do, but I would've liked a little more initiative? Fia isn't big on that, though. I mean, I love it about her, that she's so easygoing, that she accepts life for what it is and doesn't always look for greener grass over proverbial fences, but does it really take a person berating her about her lacks to give her dreams? Because I'm never going to be the person who gives her dreams if that's what it takes. I couldn't, not ever. 
> 
> Not that it's my job to give her dreams. She's already a brilliant success, and she likes me as I am, I'm sure of it. She wanted me. She was so wet, between her legs, wet and warm and gasping with pleasure from my first touches. When I was all the way inside her she arched her back and made a sound like almost like a leopard purring, so satisfied and needy at the same time I couldn't stop myself. 
> 
> I think I disappointed her. I don't like feeling like I disappointed her. I would've been willing to try again, but I didn't feel like she wanted to? I mean, not that she didn't want to ever, but I don't think she wanted to right then. She wanted to take a shower. So I kissed her goodbye and told her how much I loved her and came home and I took a shower myself.
> 
> And all I could think about the entire time I was in the shower was, how much I wished I could tell you about it. How much I missed you. 
> 
> I know we'd grown apart, I know I'd stopped paying as much attention to you as I used to, what with falling in love with Fia and the new job and I was so busy and happy, but it didn't mean I didn't care anymore. You're still my oldest and dearest friend, Faye, and I'll always love you. And you'll always love me, look out for me from wherever you are. You promised. 
> 
> When - 

\-- and Colin stopped writing because he felt a feathery touch on his shoulder. He looked. Nothing. He picked up the pen from the thin thermal blanket where he'd dropped it, and hadn't even written another letter of the alphabet when he felt it again.

He set the green book back on the nightstand with the partial letter and pen on it and pulled the covers up to his shoulder. It was late and it had been quite a day. He should sleep. 

The touch came again after less than a minute. 

"It's me, silly."

Faye? 

"Should've known you'd find a way to lure me back."

Colin rolled over and found himself eye to eye with Faye, so close her eyes merged in his sight into a single overlaid cyclopean orb. Her bangs ghosted against his forehead, soft as feathers. "How can you be here? I was writing you a letter..."

Faye's forehead touched his, then her lips. She kissed him softly. Colin melted into the kiss, sleepy and unthinking, then froze.

He couldn't do this. "Sofia," he said, pulling away. "I'm engaged, about to be married. I can't do this, it'd be cheating."

"Oh, Colin, you really are silly." Faye pushed the blanket off Colin, straddled him, pinning him down. She had nothing on under her nightgown. He could feel that much through his thin cotton pajama pants. 

Unable to help it, he was starting to get hard. Of course he was. Faye had always been really cute, and the position she was in, how could Colin possibly not be aroused? He had wanted this for so long, and Faye had said no on each of the pitifully few occasions he hadn't been too afraid to ask. "Why now?" he asked. "You never wanted to."

"I always wanted to!" Faye bounced lightly on him, and it was so hard for Colin to remember that he couldn't let her, he had Sofia to pledge to, he owed her better than this. "You weren't ready. You didn't know what it was like, not well enough for me to make it real. Now you do. Now I can."

"But I can't," Colin protested. "Please, Faye, stop."

"You don't mean it," Faye said, laughing, covering his mouth with her hand. "I'm going to give you what you need. If I don't do this, you'll be fumbling around with your wife forever, just like you did with your cello till I showed you how to do that. You need me to work through making you do what you already know you need to. At least for this."

Colin felt a cold shiver in the back of his neck, even as he knew he couldn't resist her. She didn't quite sound like the Faye who had, not that long ago, told him that it was losing her that would motivate him to find what he needed outside his imagination, outside the private world he had made with her. "You said you had to leave so I would do things for myself."

"I thought we were doing the right thing there. But now I think doing the right thing is overrated. Let's do some things wrong, it'll be more fun." She wrapped her hand around his shaft, stroking and squeezing. Colin, already hard, felt he was getting impossibly harder. 

"It's still cheating," Colin said weakly. Faye's thumb traced circles at the head of his cock. It felt so good, he was going to mess up his pajama pants at this rate, and he only had one other clean pair. 

"More like masturbating, since I'm imaginary." Faye pushed down harder with her thumb, so it almost hurt. 

The near-pain jolted through Colin as intense pleasure. "That doesn't feel imaginary," he gasped.

"You aren't going to disappoint me like you disappointed Sofia, are you, Colin?" Faye teased. "Don't come yet. I'm nowhere near done with you."

For no reason Colin could name, the feeling that surged through him when Faye said that caused exactly what she'd been hoping to prevent. His ejaculate soaked the front of his pajama bottoms. Colin swore.

"Oh, well. You always were just the right amount of clueless." Faye pulled the pajama bottoms off him. "Don't want those on anymore, do you?" 

He was naked. In front of Faye. Theoretically he had been before, but he'd always imagined them dressed together, always written the stories with clothes on, always carefully segregated his fantasies about Faye from the things that had "really" happened between them. Apparently until now. Colin didn't want this to go on. He truly wanted to be faithful to Sofia, to wait and learn to do this properly by practicing with her when they were married, not... regress to his old ways and to letting Faye run his life. But no matter what he did, how he tried to make her vanish in the way he always had, she went nowhere. "What's happening," he whispered, now that he was momentarily free of the lust that had overcome him for a short refractory period of clarity. "Why are you here? How can you be here?"

"You must want me to be here." Faye's eyes gleamed, reflecting moonlight. "That's how it works, right? You're in control, I'm only here when you want me to be, I insisted on leaving but that was because you wanted me to leave, right? You, or I might say we, thought it was the right thing? So that means, now, you must want me here, even if you say you don't. Even if it feels like you don't. Just like it felt like you didn't want me to leave: you argued with me, you said I should stay, but I left anyway." She kissed him again, and he found himself opening his mouth to her, letting her tongue in, sucking on it even as he told himself to stop. He couldn't breathe, her mouth was covering his, he tried to breathe through his nose and when she released him, finally, he was panting. "Or maybe I had the power all along, Colin. Maybe I only let you think you were the boss." She breathed into his face. Faye's breath smelled of cinnamon and cut grass, like it always had. "Stay there. Don't move. I need to find something."

Colin tried, but he found he couldn't move. He couldn't even turn his head to watch what Faye was doing. She was rummaging through his things. 

"Too much to ask that you had a vibrator or even a dildo, huh," Faye said. Colin heard her opening dresser drawers. "You gotta know you want that, but you didn't dare buy it, I guess. Condoms! Now I just need something to put one of them on." He heard the bathroom door open. "Perfect, electric toothbrush handle. It'll vibrate and everything." She hummed under her breath, the tune she'd always played to accompany his scales. Faye sounded happy.

"What exactly are you going to do with my toothbrush?" Colin asked. 

"You'll see," Faye said in sing-song tones. "I know you'll like it." 

"You've done enough. You really need to go," Colin said. By now he knew she wouldn't. 

"Stop it, really," Faye said, sounding hurt. "You missed me. You love me. I know it."

It was true. He had missed her terribly. He loved her -- Colin would always love Faye, if he lived to be a hundred. But this was wrong, and Colin knew it, and Faye ought to know it too. "I did miss you. I do love you. But I'm engaged to Sofia."

"You're not married yet."

"I don't want to cheat on her a few weeks before our wedding! And Faye, I wanted to, but our relationship was never, I mean, the most we ever did was hold hands!"

"I'm sorry, Colin." Faye put her hands behind her back. She leaned over him. "No, no, that's not true, I'm not sorry. I want this, you want this, stop being silly. Shut up about Sofia."

In the darkness there were, for a moment, things moving behind Faye, long and ropy and threatening. Those couldn't be her hands, could they? Or what she was hiding? Colin wasn't sure what he was seeing. 

Her voice hissed in his ear. " _You were mine first._ " 

"I don't--" Colin stopped. Faye wasn't listening.

He knew that because she was continuing, talking over him. "What does she say, that it doesn't matter what you do, you just have to make the most of it? Well, you are just going to have to make the most of this. Of me and you, together. Because it's happening. Say stop one more time and I'm going to gag you." As the ominous shadows, whatever they had been, faded from behind her, Faye showed her hands. The brush had been removed from his electric toothbrush handle, and she'd snapped it onto the recharger. It was covered with one of his condoms. "Oh. You can move again. Roll over onto your stomach." 

Colin found himself rolling over. He wanted to protest, but -- he thought she meant it about the gag. 

"I'm going to magic this thing into a vibrating strap on," Faye said, her voice coming from right behind Colin's ear. "And lube it up with some of your Vaseline.. not the best choice with a condom, but it'll be fine." There was a cool sensation between his cheeks and he felt one of Faye's slender fingers slide into him covered in Vaseline. "I mean, you couldn't keep it up long enough to fuck me, so I get to fuck you. Makes sense, huh?"

"I guess," Colin mumbled. He wanted to tell her no again, but he'd already tried that and it hadn't worked. Faye couldn't be argued with sometimes. He just had to do what she said. And she always had his best interest in mind, didn't she? When he did what she said, it had gone well. Every good thing in his life had come from doing what Faye told him, Colin thought. Even when he didn't want to. Sometimes, especially when he didn't want to. And she'd already said if he told her no again, she'd gag him.

What would she gag him with? Colin thought she might stuff the come-soaked pajama pants in his mouth, tie the legs at the back of his head. No, better not to speak.

Faye's fingers in his ass felt good. Not arousing, not exactly, but nice, intimate, loving. It hurt a little when she stretched his hole, but a good sting. Pain that felt good, kind of a contradiction. 

When she replaced it with the vibrating dildo she'd somehow made out of his toothbrush handle, it was the reverse. Pleasure, but too much, too strong with the vibrations. Pleasure that felt bad. Colin didn't mean to, but the words slipped out anyway. "No, Faye, stop, please no," he begged, overwhelmed.

Faye clucked with affectionate mockery. "Uh uh uh, Colin," she said. "I warned you." She at least didn't do what he'd been afraid of. The gag she ended up with was a pair of his underwear. Clean underwear, fortunately, out of the drawer, tied with his oldest, least nice necktie. "No more talking."

She fucked in and out of his ass with the vibration and every second or third time, it pressed against his prostate, overwhelming, unwelcome pleasure that there was nothing Colin could do to hold off. He felt himself get hard again, not rock hard like he'd been when Faye's hand was on his cock, but enough to start aching as the internal stimulation built and built.

Masturbation had never, never felt like this. Sex hadn't either, it'd been over too fast. But slowly, Colin's body began to be able to accommodate the pleasure. It shifted, not growing less, but he felt his ability to hold it becoming more, until it didn't feel bad, not at all, it felt -- amazing. Astonishing. Mind-blowing. So good, so far beyond how he had ever thought sex would feel. 

Colin got very close to climax. Faye wrapped her hand around the base of his cock and squeezed. It was like she was squeezing the path of the orgasm closed, like it was stuck, dammed. Like water behind an enormous hydroelectric dam, the pleasure rose and built in him, unable to find release.

It crested his ability to hold it, his newly enlarged ability, and the pleasure became torment again. Colin needed to come. He needed release. But Faye wasn't allowing that. Her grip tightened on his cock as she held the vibration right where it was most intense, just at the spot there, he couldn't stand it, he really could not -- and with the gag, he couldn't even beg. 

It went on and on and Colin had no idea how long. How long he'd been white-out overwhelmed, unable to do anything but writhe and yearn and soak up more sensation than he could possibly learn to handle. If it didn't stop, he thought he'd die. He made sounds around the gag, pushed at Faye's hand on his cock. If he could get her to let go, he could come, the unbearable pressure... 

She let go. He bucked and shuddered and came, barely any ejaculate left from when he'd come earlier, a thin stream for the intensity he was feeling. He felt her shut off the vibration as he slumped to the bed, utterly spent.

"You'll remember," Faye said. "And I'll come do this again to you whenever I want. All you'll need to do is think about me. Miss me. And need what only I can give you." She untied the gag and took it off him, kissing the corner of his mouth tenderly when she had done. 

Colin couldn't even muster the words to tell her not to. 

"You need her, Colin. Sofia. You'll keep her. She'll give you children. I want you to have children." Faye sounded serious. "So you'll have her. You'll be happy with her, in your own way. But she's so easy. She's satisfied with however things go." Her hand caressed his bottom, softly rubbing there and stroking down to the back of his upper thigh. He was so exhausted he barely moved. "You need someone to push you, Colin, and Sofia, with how she is, will never push you. So you see, I had to come back."

Finally, he was able to answer. "That's not why." He wasn't sure how he knew, not if she wasn't imaginary and under his control like he'd always thought. He knew, though. He was sure.

"It's true. But no, it's not the only reason."

"Not the important reason."

Faye laughed, pinching Colin's thigh hard enough to bruise. "No? What's the important reason, then?"

"You're jealous."

"Hah! As if." Faye stretched herself out along Colin, naked now too, making skin to skin contact along the entire lengths of their bodies. 

Colin wanted to nestle into her. He managed not to give in to that desire. Maybe her control had begun to slip again. "As if, yeah. As if you think I'd believe you if you denied it."

"I don't need to be jealous. You're mine, you've always been mine, and you always will be." Faye sighed softly into Colin's hair. The cut grass smell enveloped him. He was drifting... unmoored from reality, to an intensity he had not been for many, many years. 

"Always," he breathed.

"Your first child will be mine, too, like you are. I look forward to meeting them." Faye kissed the back of Colin's neck. He wasn't sure he could feel her there anymore, but he was warm, it was dark, the darkness enveloped him completely. 

When he woke the next morning, if he hadn't been naked and sticky, Colin might have thought it had all been a dream. After showering, that evidence was gone. Maybe it had been... he might have kicked his pajama pants off in his sleep? But no. There was the mostly written letter, wedged into the green book. And when he opened the book to the page where the letter had been placed, there were the words, in his own handwriting... 

_"But I can't," Colin protested. "Please, Faye, stop."_

_"You don't mean it," Faye said, laughing, covering his mouth with her hand. "I'm going to give you what you need...._


End file.
